mtxref_fic | [Torchwood] "This Again??" (PG-13)

Author's Note: Written for

comment_fic's Torchwood, Jack, I’m NOT pregnant!. WARNING: Brief mentions of abortion. Lead-in to "New Life to Live"

"I'm *NOT* pregnant!" Jack insisted, staring at the screen of the bio-scanner.

After Gwen's bizarre wedding day, Owen was not taking any chances with something like that happening ever again: any time a member of the team was scratched, bitten or even nicked by an alien during a mission, they underwent a scan. Even Jack, despite the fact that he tended to heal from any injuries within a few minutes or at most a few hours. But their leader had been more grumpy than usual for the past couple of weeks.

"Hate to disappoint you, Jack, but it looks like yer three weeks along," Owen said, looking from the screen to Jack and back. "There something you need to tell us, perhaps how *that* is even possible?"

"I've been through this once before: the father wanted no part of it, so I had certain bits of duct work removed so this wouldn't happen again," Jack replied.

"Well, congratulations: it would seem the duct work grew back," Owen said.

Tosh and Gwen exchanged surprised glances; Ianto, on the other hand, seemed especially bent on descaling the coffee maker, though he'd done that the day before. But as the two women looked back to their team leader and their medical officer, Tosh asked the question that had passed through their minds. "So you mean that you're some sort of hermaphrodite?" Tosh asked.

Jack rubbed his forehead tiredly and stared again at the screen as if somehow, if he looked at the red speck in his green silhouette enough times, it would fade away. "Let's say it's a genetic quirk that turns up in my family from time to time," he said. "I guess being able to come back from anything, means any parts you've had removed can grow back."

"Could be some kind of flesh memory triggered by whatever it is that keeps bringin' you back," Owen said with a shrug. "Aren't you smart enough to use a rubber or be on the Pill?"

"For the same reason I thought the duct work wasn't there any more," Jack replied patiently. "I'm immune to any STDs so using a rubber is redundant, long as I shower."

"Well, there's always the laser scalpel if you want that matter taken care of," Owen said.

"Not till I talk this over with the father: his DNA is in there, too," Jack said.

Ianto bent his head a little further over the coffee maker, as if he were trying to hide his mortified face insode the pot.