[Yami no Matsuei] (PG-13)
Dec. 12th, 2010 04:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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comment_fic's "Yami no Matsuei, Muraki, Nightwish - She is my Sin" Unrequited Tsubaki/Muraki
Perhaps it was because he had known her from the days when he had yet to fall prey to his own inner darkness. Perhaps it was because he had not yet completely silenced whatever voice of conscience he still had left when he had first met Tsubaki-hime. But though he had no qualms about the measures he took to procure the girl a heart, some small, cracked voice spoke up from a dark corner of his heart, speaking a bit louder than the voice of the demons within. Something objected to the measures he was taking, about the street urchins and young girls of the night whom he had had kidnapped and smuggled onto the Queen Camellia, looking among them for possible matches, or the organs he prepared for sale on the black market (not for financial gain, but for those who couldn't get them through legitimate avenues, the laws against transplantation being what they were).
And then there was Eileen, the girl so close to Tsubaki, her friend and confidante, who discovered what he was doing. That was reason enough to destroy the girl, but in a moment of cosmic irony, the girl turned out to be a close ethnic match for Tsubaki.
He had no scruple about discarding Eileen, and yet there was that nagging feeling that something was not as it should be in what he was doing. Tsubaki hero-worshiped him for saving her life, and in his way, he doted on her as the daughter he could have had, but he could not rightly say that he loved her.
It is written that the Watcher angels fell from heaven on purpose, because they dared to love humans, discarding heaven in favor of them for one reason or another. In way, Tsubaki was his sin: because of her, he fell from the sanctity of his profession. But did he love her? He'd seen her grow from a child into a graceful young woman, and though he had little scruple in bedding girls as young as she was, he could not and would not reciprocate the desires that she had for him. Partly it was because of her transference of her affections -- he had healed her and so she had fallen for him -- and partly it was professional consideration: he would never stoop to the things his father did with his own patients who'd similarly fallen for their caregiver. And partly, what conscience he had left did not want to compound the sins he had already committed for her.
Besides, if she knew about the blood that stained his hands, the lives he had sacrificed for her sake, would she want those same hands to draw her across the threshold from innocence to experience?
comment_fic's "Yami no Matsuei, Muraki, Nightwish - She is my Sin" Unrequited Tsubaki/MurakiPerhaps it was because he had known her from the days when he had yet to fall prey to his own inner darkness. Perhaps it was because he had not yet completely silenced whatever voice of conscience he still had left when he had first met Tsubaki-hime. But though he had no qualms about the measures he took to procure the girl a heart, some small, cracked voice spoke up from a dark corner of his heart, speaking a bit louder than the voice of the demons within. Something objected to the measures he was taking, about the street urchins and young girls of the night whom he had had kidnapped and smuggled onto the Queen Camellia, looking among them for possible matches, or the organs he prepared for sale on the black market (not for financial gain, but for those who couldn't get them through legitimate avenues, the laws against transplantation being what they were).
And then there was Eileen, the girl so close to Tsubaki, her friend and confidante, who discovered what he was doing. That was reason enough to destroy the girl, but in a moment of cosmic irony, the girl turned out to be a close ethnic match for Tsubaki.
He had no scruple about discarding Eileen, and yet there was that nagging feeling that something was not as it should be in what he was doing. Tsubaki hero-worshiped him for saving her life, and in his way, he doted on her as the daughter he could have had, but he could not rightly say that he loved her.
It is written that the Watcher angels fell from heaven on purpose, because they dared to love humans, discarding heaven in favor of them for one reason or another. In way, Tsubaki was his sin: because of her, he fell from the sanctity of his profession. But did he love her? He'd seen her grow from a child into a graceful young woman, and though he had little scruple in bedding girls as young as she was, he could not and would not reciprocate the desires that she had for him. Partly it was because of her transference of her affections -- he had healed her and so she had fallen for him -- and partly it was professional consideration: he would never stoop to the things his father did with his own patients who'd similarly fallen for their caregiver. And partly, what conscience he had left did not want to compound the sins he had already committed for her.
Besides, if she knew about the blood that stained his hands, the lives he had sacrificed for her sake, would she want those same hands to draw her across the threshold from innocence to experience?
