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mtxref_fic) wrote2012-11-12 09:48 pm
mtxref_fic) wrote2012-11-12 09:48 pm
Entry tags:
[Black Butler] "As Clever as a Brick" (PG)
Author's Note: Written for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
comment_fic's Any, any, how to make a proper cup of tea. Mild butler!Grell/Sebastian pre-slash and a lot of crack.
It's a fic with Grell in it: it's gonna be cracky.
"Please show Grell how to make a proper cup of tea: he could use a taste of your expertise." Madame Red had instructed Sebastian.
It boggled Sebastian as to why Madame Red insisted on keeping such an utterly useless young stripling as a butler: he never understood why the humans doted on the clumsy or the artless, but it was a peculiarity which he had come to tolerate, the better to hide himself in plain sight among the humans. A butler had to be patient (and considering the three yobbos he had to work with, he had learned this human art).
Sebastian had the tea things ready on a table in the kitchen, as he awaited his student's arrival. At long last -- ten minutes past the time Grell was supposed to join him in the kitchen -- the nebbish young man with the too-long queue of brunet hair (the youngster was out of his era; queues had gone out in the age of the Prince Regent) finally peeped around the hall door and let himself in.
"I hope that I am not too much trouble to you," Grell whimpered, wringing his gloved hands nervously.
"You arrived as your mistress bid you, but you arrived ten minutes too late, and promptness is a servant's best virtue," Sebastian said. Grell started to look about, lower lip quivering, as if he might seek out a means of "ending" himself (whatever the younger man was, he was not something who could end so easily...). "No, do not start squalling: use this time to watch me and learn."
Grell sighed, bowing his head. "As you wish, and at least I have a handsome teacher to keep me attentive," he replied.
That did not need to start again, but at least it would keep Grell from making a horrid spectacle of himself.
"I trust you know how to boil water?" Sebastian asked, having the odd feeling that Greel barely knew how to do that.
Grell bristled a bit. "Oh, anyone with a pulse knows how to do *that*," Grell said.
"Very well, then fill the kettle and we shall begin," Sebastian said, hoping for once that the youngster could accomplish that without mishap.
At least he succeeded in filling the kettle and only dumping a cupful of water onto his shoes (though Sebastian had to prevent him from drowning himself with the rest).
"Very well then, while that heats let us continue by warming the pot for thirty seconds," Sebastian said, setting an empty pot onto the stove. "The water warms best if it is heated in a vessel already warmed."
"Shall I fetch the loose leaf then?" Grell asked.
"Yes, fetch the common breakfast tea," Sebastian said.
"As you wish," Grell said, scurrying for the pantry. A series of bangs and metallic crashes followed by a high pitched howl informed Sebastian that Grell had succeeded in knocking down a shelf full of tea tins.
"Mister Sebastian, the tea has spilled!" Grell wailed, peering out of the cupboard, covered in loose leaf tea. "I am an utter failure at making tea: if you would do me the honor of ending my miserable life --"
"Simply fetch whatever tea is unspilled," Sebastian replied, patiently. He almost felt like taking up Grell's request.
Grell bowed his head. "As you wish," he said, slinking back to the pantry and returning with a tin of common tea. In the meantime, the water had started to boil.
"If you could fetch a tablespoon and put two heaping spoonfuls into the empty pot --" Sebastian said. He caught himself, as Grell did as he was told, only he put the tea into the boiling pot of water.
Sebastian put up a hand, stopping him. "That, Mr. Sutcliffe, is the wrong pot. Now, you'll have to take that off and start all over again."
"Oh, what a useless wretch I am!" Grell wailed, reaching for the kettle, but Sebastian moved a mite faster and grabbed it away, whisking it to the sink to rinse it out. He would have to start all over from the top with this one. Or better yet, take charge of the tea making....
comment_fic's Any, any, how to make a proper cup of tea. Mild butler!Grell/Sebastian pre-slash and a lot of crack.It's a fic with Grell in it: it's gonna be cracky.
"Please show Grell how to make a proper cup of tea: he could use a taste of your expertise." Madame Red had instructed Sebastian.
It boggled Sebastian as to why Madame Red insisted on keeping such an utterly useless young stripling as a butler: he never understood why the humans doted on the clumsy or the artless, but it was a peculiarity which he had come to tolerate, the better to hide himself in plain sight among the humans. A butler had to be patient (and considering the three yobbos he had to work with, he had learned this human art).
Sebastian had the tea things ready on a table in the kitchen, as he awaited his student's arrival. At long last -- ten minutes past the time Grell was supposed to join him in the kitchen -- the nebbish young man with the too-long queue of brunet hair (the youngster was out of his era; queues had gone out in the age of the Prince Regent) finally peeped around the hall door and let himself in.
"I hope that I am not too much trouble to you," Grell whimpered, wringing his gloved hands nervously.
"You arrived as your mistress bid you, but you arrived ten minutes too late, and promptness is a servant's best virtue," Sebastian said. Grell started to look about, lower lip quivering, as if he might seek out a means of "ending" himself (whatever the younger man was, he was not something who could end so easily...). "No, do not start squalling: use this time to watch me and learn."
Grell sighed, bowing his head. "As you wish, and at least I have a handsome teacher to keep me attentive," he replied.
That did not need to start again, but at least it would keep Grell from making a horrid spectacle of himself.
"I trust you know how to boil water?" Sebastian asked, having the odd feeling that Greel barely knew how to do that.
Grell bristled a bit. "Oh, anyone with a pulse knows how to do *that*," Grell said.
"Very well, then fill the kettle and we shall begin," Sebastian said, hoping for once that the youngster could accomplish that without mishap.
At least he succeeded in filling the kettle and only dumping a cupful of water onto his shoes (though Sebastian had to prevent him from drowning himself with the rest).
"Very well then, while that heats let us continue by warming the pot for thirty seconds," Sebastian said, setting an empty pot onto the stove. "The water warms best if it is heated in a vessel already warmed."
"Shall I fetch the loose leaf then?" Grell asked.
"Yes, fetch the common breakfast tea," Sebastian said.
"As you wish," Grell said, scurrying for the pantry. A series of bangs and metallic crashes followed by a high pitched howl informed Sebastian that Grell had succeeded in knocking down a shelf full of tea tins.
"Mister Sebastian, the tea has spilled!" Grell wailed, peering out of the cupboard, covered in loose leaf tea. "I am an utter failure at making tea: if you would do me the honor of ending my miserable life --"
"Simply fetch whatever tea is unspilled," Sebastian replied, patiently. He almost felt like taking up Grell's request.
Grell bowed his head. "As you wish," he said, slinking back to the pantry and returning with a tin of common tea. In the meantime, the water had started to boil.
"If you could fetch a tablespoon and put two heaping spoonfuls into the empty pot --" Sebastian said. He caught himself, as Grell did as he was told, only he put the tea into the boiling pot of water.
Sebastian put up a hand, stopping him. "That, Mr. Sutcliffe, is the wrong pot. Now, you'll have to take that off and start all over again."
"Oh, what a useless wretch I am!" Grell wailed, reaching for the kettle, but Sebastian moved a mite faster and grabbed it away, whisking it to the sink to rinse it out. He would have to start all over from the top with this one. Or better yet, take charge of the tea making....