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mtxref_ficAuthor's Note: Written for < lj user="fic_promptly">'s any, any, Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.. Also inspired by This TLFN thingum on Tumblr. Featuring Tsuzuki and Tatsumi arguing over the phone.
Tsuzuki was, characteristically, an hour late. Hisoka, on the other hand, was on time as always. "Now why, may I ask, is your partner nowhere to be found this time?" Tatsumi asked patiently.
Hisoka looked up from the paperwork he had started filling out. "He was out late last night, celebrating the solving of the incubus case," he replied, with equal patience.
"I should have known," Tatsumi said, with a sigh, his eye on the phone. "Shall I call just to be sure?"
"Go right ahead, though I'm not sure I can guarantee that he'll answer you," Hisoka replied, turning his attention back to the paperwork. "He was pretty wasted, even when I got up. Didn't even move when I left a pitcher of orange juice and a cup with some aspirin on his bedside table."
Tatsumi picked up the phone and dialed Tsuzuki's number from memory. The line buzzed several times, Tatsumi counting them patiently, up till twelve rings, then the line clicked and rustled.
"Ufgh... hullo?" Tsuzuki mumbled, sleepily.
"Tsuzuki, it's Tatsumi," he replied. "Are you coming in to work today?"
Something, likely the blankets, rustled and Tsuzuki groaned. "Oh, no, I don't think so," he replied.
"Yes, Hisoka told me something to that effect, but I wanted to call and be sure," Tatsumi replied. "What seems to be the problem? Did you catch that bug that's been going around?"
"Oh, no, it's a lot more complicated than that," Tsuzuki replied. "I was out on the town, went to a few bars, then I got a late dinner at the McDonald's in Shinjuku. The fries were great, but I don't think they cooked my burger right. So I hit a few more bars, hoping the alcohol would kill the germs, but it didn't work. Hisoka could tell you: he was holding my head by the hair so I wouldn't pass out over the toilet."
"Please tell me you didn't press Hisoka into service, getting you home?" Tatsumi said.
"No, he was home the whole time, said he wanted to chill after everything that case involved," Tsuzuki replied. "So, I ended up passed out on my bed, and I haven't moved, really, until you called."
"A hangover? You really need to watch your alcohol intake," Tatsumi replied, disapproving.
"It's more than just a hangover, Tatsumi. Cut me a little slack! I got food poisoning *AND* alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me," Tsuzuki snapped. "Hisoka moved the TV into my room and put the remote on the bedside table where I could reach it, but I'm waiting for the TV to make its move. Maybe fall on me if I get out of bed. Or there might be an electrical storm and the aerial might get hit."
"You must really be sick, if you're coming out with crazy things like that," Tatsumi replied.
"So... will you let me have the day off so I can recover?" Tsuzuki replied, hopefully.
"Can you come in later this afternoon, to help Hisoka with the paperwork from the incubus case?" Tatsumi replied, crisply.
"What?" Tsuzuki squawked. "Tatsumi, you're a goddamned slave driver! How do you expect me to crawl in to work when I feel like a train hit me!"
"That paperwork won't finish itself, and Hisoka can't do it all himself," Tatsumi replied, ignoring this, though a bit of a twinge of remorse tweaked inside him.
The covers rustled again, then Tsuzuki groaned. "Oh, all *right*," he grumped. "But don't be surprised if I'm not there till after lunch. If at all. The kind of luck I've been having, I'll probably get hit by my train, or a fruit cart will roll down a hill and run me down."
"We'll be waiting for you," Tatsumi replied.
"Yeah. If you don't mine me throwing up all over the desk," Tsuzuki snarled, and the phone cut off violently. Tatsumi could fairly hear Tsuzuki slamming the receiver onto the base before flopping back onto the bed and falling back to sleep.
Maybe he had been too hard. He didn't expect Tsuzuki to come in that day and he decided to overlook it. This one time at least.
Tsuzuki was, characteristically, an hour late. Hisoka, on the other hand, was on time as always. "Now why, may I ask, is your partner nowhere to be found this time?" Tatsumi asked patiently.
Hisoka looked up from the paperwork he had started filling out. "He was out late last night, celebrating the solving of the incubus case," he replied, with equal patience.
"I should have known," Tatsumi said, with a sigh, his eye on the phone. "Shall I call just to be sure?"
"Go right ahead, though I'm not sure I can guarantee that he'll answer you," Hisoka replied, turning his attention back to the paperwork. "He was pretty wasted, even when I got up. Didn't even move when I left a pitcher of orange juice and a cup with some aspirin on his bedside table."
Tatsumi picked up the phone and dialed Tsuzuki's number from memory. The line buzzed several times, Tatsumi counting them patiently, up till twelve rings, then the line clicked and rustled.
"Ufgh... hullo?" Tsuzuki mumbled, sleepily.
"Tsuzuki, it's Tatsumi," he replied. "Are you coming in to work today?"
Something, likely the blankets, rustled and Tsuzuki groaned. "Oh, no, I don't think so," he replied.
"Yes, Hisoka told me something to that effect, but I wanted to call and be sure," Tatsumi replied. "What seems to be the problem? Did you catch that bug that's been going around?"
"Oh, no, it's a lot more complicated than that," Tsuzuki replied. "I was out on the town, went to a few bars, then I got a late dinner at the McDonald's in Shinjuku. The fries were great, but I don't think they cooked my burger right. So I hit a few more bars, hoping the alcohol would kill the germs, but it didn't work. Hisoka could tell you: he was holding my head by the hair so I wouldn't pass out over the toilet."
"Please tell me you didn't press Hisoka into service, getting you home?" Tatsumi said.
"No, he was home the whole time, said he wanted to chill after everything that case involved," Tsuzuki replied. "So, I ended up passed out on my bed, and I haven't moved, really, until you called."
"A hangover? You really need to watch your alcohol intake," Tatsumi replied, disapproving.
"It's more than just a hangover, Tatsumi. Cut me a little slack! I got food poisoning *AND* alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me," Tsuzuki snapped. "Hisoka moved the TV into my room and put the remote on the bedside table where I could reach it, but I'm waiting for the TV to make its move. Maybe fall on me if I get out of bed. Or there might be an electrical storm and the aerial might get hit."
"You must really be sick, if you're coming out with crazy things like that," Tatsumi replied.
"So... will you let me have the day off so I can recover?" Tsuzuki replied, hopefully.
"Can you come in later this afternoon, to help Hisoka with the paperwork from the incubus case?" Tatsumi replied, crisply.
"What?" Tsuzuki squawked. "Tatsumi, you're a goddamned slave driver! How do you expect me to crawl in to work when I feel like a train hit me!"
"That paperwork won't finish itself, and Hisoka can't do it all himself," Tatsumi replied, ignoring this, though a bit of a twinge of remorse tweaked inside him.
The covers rustled again, then Tsuzuki groaned. "Oh, all *right*," he grumped. "But don't be surprised if I'm not there till after lunch. If at all. The kind of luck I've been having, I'll probably get hit by my train, or a fruit cart will roll down a hill and run me down."
"We'll be waiting for you," Tatsumi replied.
"Yeah. If you don't mine me throwing up all over the desk," Tsuzuki snarled, and the phone cut off violently. Tatsumi could fairly hear Tsuzuki slamming the receiver onto the base before flopping back onto the bed and falling back to sleep.
Maybe he had been too hard. He didn't expect Tsuzuki to come in that day and he decided to overlook it. This one time at least.
