[Shakespeare] "K1NG L33R" (G)

[mtxref_fic]

Author's Note: Written for "King Lear, author's choice, the first scene in LOLspeak". An English professor who was a long time family friend would be rolling in her grave if she knew I was writing this in LOLspeak, but I still dedicate this to her...


LEAR: U can haz mi thrown if one of u lovz mee

GONERIL: OMG I loveez u mor tahn cheezburgrz, srsly

CORDELIA: (to herself) I Failz. I canz be only kwai-it

LEAR: I givez u all tihs landz

REGAN: Goneril no speakz troof. I no happee unless I iz loving u.

CORDELIA: I iz failz for teh looze. Whut kan I sayz nao?

LEAR: I givez u all tehse landz an cheezeburgerz. Nao can haz mi yungist daughterz? Whut u sayz?

CORDELIA: Nuffing.

LEAR: Nuffing?

CORDELIA: Nuffing.

LEAR: Nuffing getz u nuffing.

CORDELIA: I Failz. I no haz talent for wurdz.